“Holy and Wholly Listening”
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” James 1:19
“When people talk listen completely. Most people never listen.” E. Hemingway
Everywhere we look we’re inundated with news and information about how terrible everything is. We’re divided and segregated by language, by age, by color, by gender, by politics, by zip codes, by technology, by media, by income levels. And yet simultaneously, we’re all seeking connection, all seeking some common experience to share—an experience where we can hear another person say, “I hear you,” “I understand,” “Me too,” “You are not alone.” (Maria Shriver, “I’ve Been Thinking”)
People aren’t listening. That’s what Maria Shriver is saying.
We’re not listening. We hear an awful lot of things, and a lot of things that are awful, but we’re not listening. We’re not listening with our ears or especially with our hearts. That’s what’s at the root of the problems that we see being played out in our nation and our world. But it’s not just the politicians and other people who aren’t listening, it’s us.
I’m not listening. I was reminded of that in a very painful way this past week during a conversation I was having on my cell phone. A message popped up in my email that distracted me and demanded my immediate attention—or so I told myself. The person with whom I was speaking sensed my distraction and asked me point blank, “Are you doing something else?” Busted! I admitted to her what I had allowed to capture my attention. She politely invited me to call back at a time that was more convenient. I apologized, put away that email and concentrated on the conversation. It was an embarrassing reminder that often-times I am not really listening. And most likely neither are you. And sometimes, many times, all people want is to be listened to! Fully. Deeply. Compassionately. Caringly.
In fact, that is what God wants; to be listened to. The Bible is replete with references reminding us of the importance of listening to God. Think about what a change would take place if people would first ask the question, “What would/does God say about this action that I’m considering taking?”
And listening is perhaps what we want most from God as well. We want to know that God is listening. That’s called prayer.
In her book “Practicing the Sacred Art of Listening”, Kay Lindahl relates the following: There’s a wonderful story about Mother Teresa, who was asked what she did when she prayed to God. “Oh, that’s easy, I listen” she said. “And what does God do?” “Oh,” she replied, “God listens.”
Lindahl makes the point that the first step to listening is silence. All the great spiritual teachers convey this wisdom.
“There is nothing so much like God as silence.” Meister Eckhardt.
“The beginning of wisdom is silence. The second stage is listening.” Solomon ibn Gandirol, Hebrew sage.
“It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.” Mahatma Ghandi
“We don’t know what we ought to pray. The Spirit intercedes for us through wordless groans.” St. Paul
At the risk of sounding too trite or overly pious, I believe that what we need most as a country, a culture, and as mere citizens of a kingdom that cannot be shaken, is listening. Prayerful listening. Listening to the hearts of others. Listening to our own hearts. And perhaps most important listening to the heart of God. And being sufficiently and sacredly still and silent so that God can listen to ours.