“We were hoping He was going to redeem Israel.”  Luke 24

“If you had been here my brother wouldn’t have died.”  Mary Magdalene

“Life isn’t fair, princess, and anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to sell you something.”  The Princess Bride

An election was held.  The results were disastrous.  A good Man; a decent Man; an honorable Man had lost.  He had been the most popular candidate for a very long time.  But at the end a group of power brokers had rigged the election and stolen it.  They manipulated the populace and arranged for a convicted criminal to win.  As a result, The Man’s life, as well as His career, was over.  His followers would be marginalized, criticized, mistreated, condemned and even martyred.  It was a disaster.  Or was it?

When has God disappointed you? When have you felt cheated, mistreated; that God wasn’t being fair? 

Maybe you feel that way right now.  Maybe you feel as if you have done everything asked of you—praying, going to church, being nice (most of the time) to other people, generous with your time and money (a mistaken idea because neither is really ours) to make the world a better place.  But it’s as if God hasn’t been listening; Like God hasn’t kept up God’s part of the bargain.  And now maybe, just maybe, you’re filled with resentment, anger, and hopelessness.  You’ve given up. You no longer want anything to do with this faith thing—or the God who supposedly gifted you with it.

I’ve felt like that . . . many times.  The most pronounced was during the dark days of the death of my mom, my divorce, and the departure of my last child. Oh, and with the descent of my ministry from a place of success and pride to one of utter failure.  I was upset with God.  I felt betrayed, not only by other people, but by God.  Those feelings sent me into a serious tailspin in which I was basted in the sauce of spiritual sickness. It lasted a long time.

Some of the stories we read in the Bible reveal people who were also disappointed with God.  The above verses provide two examples.  There are many more.  Rather than giving us a platform to proclaim the injustice of it all, these occasions give us opportunity to grow, and perhaps believe differently about God, life, and ourselves.  Here are some reminders that I found helpful during my time of darkness, depression, and disillusionment.

My perspective is limited.  My mind, my understanding, the way I see things is severely limited to my own experience, opinion, and intelligence—or lack thereof.  St. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 13 “Now we see through a mirror imperfectly.”   I can’t see the whole picture.  I can’t see the long-term results nor the reason for what is taking place.  I can only see what is immediately in front of me.  And that is why faith is invaluable. 

And so is patience.  I believe that one of the many downsides of living in a culture which encourages immediate gratification is that the gift of patience is lost.  In the “good old days” when people made bread at home, it took time for the yeast to do it’s work and the bread to rise before baking.  How much more-so the work of God?  For God there is no such thing as time.  Perhaps that is why the Messiah was promised hundreds of years before actually making His appearance.  I need to let events play out.  And be patient.

That being said, things may never work out like I hope.  But despite that fact I can be sure that personal transformation is occurring.  Something happens when life puts us through the sieve of suffering.  There is a refinement in character.  The dross of our own sense of self-importance is done away with.  The ego is bruised, battered, and broken, and we begin to be cloaked with the mantle of humility.  We are grafted in, through suffering and disappointment, to the One who was such a disappointment to many, and who suffered for the sake of all.  We become more closely united to The Christ, to Divine love, to Sweet love, and that love takes root, grows, and blossoms. Fruit and flowers bloom in the desert of our own despair and disappointment.

To the surprise of everyone, the chagrin of many, but the eventual delight of most, The Man staged a comeback.  The greatest comeback in the history of the world.  He came back to life a short three days after what had seemed like the worst possible defeat.  And when He did things changed.  Not external, temporal things, but the things that really matter most:  the hearts and lives of those who followed Him were changed.  Their lives took on new meaning.  The lived with love for God, and others, and one another.  They cared, were compassionate, and kind.  And slowly, eventually, imperceptibly a change occurred.  And their lives, and the life of the world, was never the same.