“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too?  I thought I was the only one’”. C.S Lewis

“I no longer call you disciples.  I call you friends.”  Jesus

I’m writing this early on Thanksgiving Day.  Though the holiday is unique to the United States, the idea of giving thanks isn’t.  As I scroll through the list of all that I’m thankful for, one of the foremost items is friends. 

If you were to make a list of your friends, whose names would be on it? 

There are different levels of friends.  Perhaps a way to envision one’s friends is with a concentric circle.

On the outside of the circle are those people who are acquaintances.  They are the people with whom we have a surface relationship.  We like them and sometimes get together with them, but only occasionally.

The next circle are those people who we like to spend time with, and with whom we share common interests.  These might be the people that are in an organization we belong to, live in our neighborhood, or who are members of our faith community.

The next circle is the inner circle.  It is comprised of only those people with whom we are very close, those with whom we share the most intimate and important details of our lives.  There aren’t many of these.  These are what the Celts would call an “Anam Cara.”  If you were to take the time to list these people, who would be on it?

Jesus had friends in each category.  There were the people with whom he would occasionally dine.  Then there were the close disciples, comprised not only of the twelve men, but also of a few women.  And in the inner circle was Peter, James and John—and Mary of Magdala. 

I am thinking of and giving thanks for the friends in each category.  There is one in particular that I’m thinking of today; Chad.

I first met Chad almost twenty years ago.  We were both attending a church conference.  We initially connected over our shared interested in theology.  Eventually he became a member of the church I was pastoring.  Initially he was in the outer circle.  Someone whose company I enjoyed, but not real close.  In time that changed, in large part because of both of us facing some difficult times in our lives, mine being my divorce and his being career challenges.  We became quite close.  C.S. Lewis’ description above captures what caused him to become an Anam Cara to me.    I remember calling Chad on one specific occasion when I had received some horrible news, and he kindly helped me to put a more accurate and truthful perspective on it.  He talked me down from the proverbial ledge. Though the geographical distance was great, the bond we shared was as close as ever.

Over the years our circumstances have changed.  He moved away from Colorado, and I moved away from being a pastor in the Lutheran church.  As a result, we have gone months, even years without being in contact.  But whenever we reconnect, we fall back into our easy, open and honest conversations.  The bond of our close relationship remains intact.

I’m thinking of Chad today because I’ll be spending the day with him, attending a Green Bay Packers game at Lambeau Field.  My first ever!  Chad arranged for the tickets.  But as exciting as that will be, the real thrill will simply to be able to reconnect with this dear friend for whom I am incredibly grateful.

Close friendship is a divine gift.  It is a gift we not only receive but can share with others.  It is a gift which, in addition to family, is invaluable.  My prayer is that you have friends in each circle.  Especially those in the inner one.