“Peter turned around and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them. This was the disciple who had leaned back against Jesus’ chest at the meal.” John 21:20

“I don’t often ‘feel’ like a beloved child of God.  But I know that that is my most primal identity and I know that I must choose it above and beyond my hesitations.” Henri Nouwen

Who is the disciple that Peter saw?  Who is it that leaned against Jesus’ chest?  The obvious answer is John, often-called The Beloved disciple. 

What made John beloved?  What did he do that made him “special?” 

Yes, he was part of the inner circle of three, along with Peter and James.  But that didn’t make him beloved.

Yes, he was there on the Mount of Transfiguration. But that didn’t make him beloved.

Yes, he wrote the three epistles that bear his name, the first which speaks most profoundly about love.  But that didn’t make him beloved.

What made John beloved?  The same thing that makes YOU beloved.  Simply being an object of God’s loved poured out through Jesus Christ.

We spend our lives trying to “be” someone special.  Or trying to figure out who we are.  We spend a great deal of time, effort, and even money trying in the never-ending existential quest to answer the foundational question of “Who Am I?” The answer is obvious.  It isn’t found outside of us, but within us.  All along our true identity, our eternal identity, is hidden like a diamond, a pearl of great price, is as close to us as the heart that beats within us, as close as John was to the heart of God.  Like John, we also are the Beloved.

As Henri Nouwen, author of “Life of The Beloved” and so many other great books, notes above, we often-times don’t feel very beloved.  We take our cues from what we do or have done, what people do or have done to us, what we think about ourselves, or what others think about us.  It’s all a lie.  Nothing in all creation can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus, and from the status that we have as being His beloved.  What God the Father says about Christ in His baptism He says to us; “You are My Beloved Son or Daughter, in whom I am so very, very, pleased.”

I am convinced the lack of knowledge, awareness, and belief in this basic and most fundamental life truth is at the root of the problems we have in the world, in our country and community, in our families, and in ourselves.

Recently I was listening to a person describe their life.  The bad choices they had made, which resulted ultimately in them being homeless.  They continued to share about their life choices, and of the bad things that had been done to them—and believe me, they were horrible!  When that person finished, I gently reminded them that for as bad as all of that was, and as unfortunate as it was to have happened, it doesn’t define who they really are.  It can’t change their Beloved Ness in the eyes of God.

It’s easy to believe what we are told about us and to us.  It is easy to believe the hurt and harm that the world inflicts upon us.  It is easy to look in the mirror and dislike or even despise the person we see looking back.   And as a result it is easy to spend our lives running after an identity that is false, forever frustrated by the many dead ends it takes us down.  It is much more difficult to believe The Truth.  Here it is:  God is Love.  And God loves you!  Personally.  Passionately.  Possessively. 

So who is the beloved disciple?  You are! YOU are God’s beloved.  Just as you are right now.  You always were.  You always will be. Eternally resting on the breast of The Lord. That is your Divine Identity.  Whether you realize it or believe it or not.