“This is Love . . . “

God’s love is messy. Messy love for messy lives. But that’s not what we want. We want the “Happily Ever After” fairy tale love. We want the kind of love we see in the movies or read in romance novels (no, I don’t actually read them!). That’s the kind of love most of us want. And that’s what causes us disillusionment or even to give up on love—our own disappointments based on a phony product that we all too willingly bought.

I was reminded of this recently while talking with an old friend. Her life was a mess, in large part due to the fact that the love of her mom, her boyfriend and her children was not working out like she had hoped. Her mom, it seems, had never loved her well—at least not perfectly—from the time of her birth. And she told her that she never really wanted her. Ouch! Her boyfriend had expectations of marriage which she simply isn’t ready for, and he got upset when she put on the brakes. And her kids, well they appear to be stereotypical millennials and tend to be “takers” rather than “givers”. All of them are causing her a lot of pain in her life. She’s having a hard time dealing with it. It’s messy love, from those whom she’s loved.

As I listened to her I thought to myself, “Why is she so surprised? This is the way people love!” The next thought that followed was a bit of a breakthrough for me, “Why is she so surprised, this is the way God loves!”

God’s love is messy. Not the philosophical love of God that is more conceptual than factual. Rather the love of God that is made REAL in flesh and blood. Exemplified and magnified in Christ Jesus. Jesus was messy love in the flesh.

We’ve done a good job of doing our best to tidy Him up. But the truth is that the whole story of His life was one big mess. From the time of His birth, which was not the neat manger scene depicted at Christmas, but more the kind of thing you’d find in a back alley today, to the time He spent with the “sinners” to the final act of His crucifixion, it was all ONE BIG MESS. People recognized it/Him as such, which is why they rejected Him. But hidden in the midst of all this mess was the pearl of God’s love. Delivered in a way that people didn’t expect, or maybe even want, but that somehow made it through and made a difference.

The message is that God loves messy people with messy lives in very messy ways. God loves people who don’t love others, who don’t even love themselves. Maybe that’s the root of the problem, we don’t believe that God could love someone as messy as we are. I don’t know. I do know that as I listened to my friend, and then gently reflected with her on the reality of God’s messy, hidden love not only for her loved ones but for her, it made a difference. And I also know that as I’ve been reflecting upon it for myself this week I’ve gained greater insight into my own messy love, and I’ve been more eager to embrace the way messy love is delivered to me by God through others.