“What are you seeking?”  John 1:38

“Do not now seek answers which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them.  And the point is to live everything.  Live the questions now.” Rainer Maria Rilke

How would you answer that question?  If Jesus were asking you instead of Andrew and the other disciple what would you say?

Fascinating, isn’t it, that the first words spoken by Jesus recorded in the Gospel of John are a question?  It is a question directed not only to Andrew and another disciple, but to everyone living everywhere for all time.  It is a question directed at you and me.  “What are you seeking?” How would you answer in this moment?

We might be seeking a great many things, the possibilities are endless.  But for us it’s not the question that’s important, but the answers.  That is what we really want; ANSWERS! Most of us want answers to the all the questions we have in life and about life.    Perhaps they are the “Why” questions, like “Why did this happen?  or “Why is this happening now . . . to me?”  This is the kind of question Job was asking.  Note that the only answers he gets are really bad ones from his well-meaning friends!  Sound familiar?  Or maybe you’re asking the “What” questions, like “What should I do in this particular situation?”, or “What am I supposed to do with my life?”  Or maybe it’s the “Who” questions, like “Who am I?”, or “Who is God?”  Or maybe it’s the “How” questions, like “How will I ever make it through this?”  What questions are you asking today?  Whatever question(s) you’re asking I am pretty certain of two things:  First is that God is not going to give a direct answer, and second that if God does it will be posed in the form of another question.  That’s what God does, asks questions,  just like He did to Job, and like Jesus did with the the many who followed Him.

Maybe ask yourself this questions:  “What are you seeking as you ask all of these questions?”  Certain answers, certainly.  But can you ever be certain with whatever answer you arrive at?  And even if by some chance you do, what will be the result?  Would you be satisfied with the answer?  Or would it simply breed more questions? Will having an “answer” really change things for you?  Will life somehow become better, richer or more meaningful?  Doubtful.  Too often when we seek answers, or seek to give them to others, the goal is merely a momentary sense of security, to be assured that things are right—or perhaps that WE are right. Or maybe to defend ourselves against others, even if that other is God, and against all that we see as wrong.  Seeking answers to life’s questions is rooted in ego and the insecurity of the inner self.  Too often we arrive at answers that simply affirm what we desire or that lead us down a path that is further from God, and ourselves (Think about the initial temptation in the garden—the question posed and the answers arrived at.  That didn’t work out too well).  Would it not be more faithful, fulfilling and even fun to live life’s questions, rather than seeking the answers?  Would it not be more humble to ask the questions rather than arrogantly pretending to know all the answers? Would it not be more in line with the divine to live asking the questions that give fulfillment in life?

Consider Jesus for a moment.  He was constantly being peppered with questions. Note as you read the Gospels how many people come to Him with questions, either sincerely seeking answers or perhaps slyly seeking to trap Him.  And also note how frequently Jesus responds to their questions with another question.  Why does He do that?  Is it because the question itself is immaterial or misplaced?  Is it because He wants the person to arrive at their own conclusion?  Is it because in the “big scheme” of things the question doesn’t matter? Is it because there is no answer this side of eternity?  Or maybe Jesus is merely doing what God does best, which is question us for the purpose of leading us closer to Truth?  As Henri Nouwen writes, “God does not solve all our problems nor answer all our questions, but leads us closer to the mystery of our existence where all questions cease.”

On this Mother’s Day I found myself asking questions centering on my mom.  “What did I do to deserve such an amazing mother?”  “Why didn’t I appreciate her more when she was alive?”  “What did she do to deserve such a terrible end to her life?”  “How can I honor her life?”  “Does she know even now how much I love her?”   None of these questions have definitive answers.  But I sense satisfaction and even some delight in asking them.

What questions are you asking?  What answers are you seeking?  Perhaps ask God to allow you grace to keep asking the questions without insisting on an answer.  What question is God asking of you?  What are you seeking?