“I Am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end.”  Revelation 22:13

“Every day we begin again.” St. Benedict

“Closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” From the song “Closing Time” by Semisonic

There is a curious phenomenon—dare I say illness?—that sets in as one ages.  I will call it “Set in my ways-itis.”  It is a refusal to change, to consider new opportunities, and to hang on tooth and nail to whatever lifestyle one has chosen, even if it hasn’t served one well.  It is, on the one hand, a romanticizing of the past, remembering it as better than it was, and on the other a refusal to let go of what has happened, or recently happened, no matter how damaging it might be to one’s own health.  It is the emotional and spiritual version of collecting, perhaps even hoarding, in which all that has been, good or bad, is accumulated and kept safely hidden in the heart, soul and mind, and dredged up in a moments notice so that it can be drawn upon as a way not only of justifying one’s opinions and attitudes, but calcifying them so that one becomes intractable.  Even if it is obvious that such an approach is simply not working, one will continue to hold onto those habits and addictions for dear life.  You are no doubt familiar with the definition of insanity . . .  “to continue to do the same thing over and over while hoping for a different result.”

This is true even and especially for followers of The Way.  How often have I seen this principal at work among “Good Christians” and church-goers.  The seven most dangerous and damaging words for a healthy spiritual life may very well be “I’ve never done it that way before.”  The Call of The Christ is nothing less than a call to change.  That is the meaning of the word “repent”—to change direction, attitude, way of thinking, and especially believing.  Yet it seems especially here, in this realm of belief, one finds many who refuse to consider anything new or different. 

I had a conversation recently with a person who, in her 80’s, discovered the riches buried in contemplative approach to life and practice of “reading” the Scriptures.  It has, by her own admission, been life-changing for her.  She has shared this with some friends, and even invited a few to join a contemplative study that integrates the practice of Lectio Divina[1], but they are suspicious of this “new thing”, and are clinging tenaciously to their familiar, and dare I say far-too-comfortable, form of “bible study.”

This season that we are in, Lent, is one which invites change.  The practice of giving up something that is a bad habit, addiction, or obsession is a subtle form of putting something to death so that some other thing might be given life.  In other words, it is the Good Friday/Easter Sunday pattern in miniature.  How well one’s faith would be served if each day took on that form, not only recalling but actually re-enacting the Christ life by dying and being raised again.  As St. Benedict says, “each day we begin again.”

Do your recognize the significance of this?  Easter is not something that happens once a year—but every day.  Resurrection is not something that one waits and hopes for at the end of our life, but a daily practice that gives fullness and vitality to life NOW.  It is a practice in which one drops the old, and moves into the new.

I once knew a woman, also in her 80’s, who was deeply troubled by something she had done in her past that had haunted her throughout her life.  She simply couldn’t get rid of it, or give it up.  Every day she would live with the haunting memories of that thing that had happened—in essence held hostage by what once was—but no longer is.

How true is that for you?  For me?  What is it that I am hanging onto that I refuse to let go of because it is familiar, even though it is causing pain and suffering.  Consider this friend:  “Until the pain I am experiencing now is worse than the fear of letting go of my past and stepping into my future, I will not change.”  Nor, may I add, can God change us.

Here is a practice: Every night before going to sleep review your day–give thanks for all that is “good”–considering where you saw God at work. And honestly asking forgiveness for that which was not in alignment with faith or God’s will. Then go to sleep in peace–and in the morning start fresh, with a clean slate, assured that the past is forever buried with Christ, and that you have been raised in, with, and to His new life.

What change do you fear?  What have you been hanging onto that is hurting and harming you?  What life practices and perspectives are not serving you well?  What will it take to let go, and experience a new beginning—every day?

FOR A NEW BEGINNING[2]
“In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.”

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[1] This is an ancient practice in which  a short portion of the scriptures are not so much read and studied, as they are listened to carefully and repeatedly for the purpose of saturating the soul.  Kind of like spiritual marinading.

[2] From “To Bless the Space Between Us” by John O’Donohue