“Even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.” Psalm 139:17

A big part of the reason that we fear the dark, from the time we’re children, is because we can’t see what’s “out there”. And so we fear the monsters that roam around in our imagination. We might outgrow the monsters, but nonetheless we continue to stumble through life tripping over unseen, unexpected and unwelcomed obstacles. This is true, ironically, even for those committed Christians who are convinced that we’re walking in the light. I speak from personal experience. I was under the illusion that I knew all about God and how He worked and what His will was, not only for me but for others. And I was very adept at directing “them” in both good times and bad. I shudder to think of the convenient Christian clichés that I comfortably contributed to others in times of crisis. I believed I was walking in the light. And then I tripped. And fell. Hard. I was plunged into the darkness.

Funny, I based a lot of my beliefs on the story of the fall into sin. And yet when it happened to me it was an unrecognized and unwelcomed visitor. I had become so accustomed to standing tall and proud (arrogant and egotistical), that when I became an actual participant in what I had been preaching I couldn’t handle it. I did my best to simply stand, let alone stumble and walk, in this darkness.

It took a long time, but eventually my eyes adjusted, and I began to “see” God. To see like the blind do, only spiritually, with deeper senses. Curious that this type of seeing is never taught—at least it wasn’t in my tradition. The “western” Christian, and mainly protestant perspective, teaches that God must be known cognitively. That one must memorize bible passages. That light must be shed on life through the doctrines that define God in order for us to see what God is doing in our lives and in the world. How often have well-intentioned Christians interpreted some event or personal tragedy by quoting scripture or explaining it according to how they’ve been taught to believe about God?

All of those teachings, or at least most of them, fail to provide adequate illumination on a person’s path during the dark night of the soul.

There is another tradition, another teaching that is very ancient, albeit unfamiliar to many and not accessed by most. This practice doesn’t seek to define God nor determine God’s actions based on bible passages. It simply lets God be God. It was practiced by people like Meister Eckhardt, St. Anthony, and Jesus Himself. It has been made popular today by Merton, Keating and Rohr.

Bishop Kallistos Ware perhaps describes it best:

“Moses progresses from light into darkness. And so it proves to be for each one who follows the spiritual Way. We go out from the known to the unknown, we advance from light into darkness. We do not simply proceed from the darkness of ignorance into the light of knowledge, but we go forward from the light of partial knowledge into a greater knowledge which is so much more profound that it can only be described as the “darkness of unknowing.”

I like reading that. I like knowing that. I like being assured that when I’m in that darkness of unknowing I am most fully known!