“O Lord, You search me and You know me.” Psalm 139

“To her, the name of her father was another name for love“ Fanny Fern

It’s Father’s Day.  Of course I’m thinking of my father.  Aren’t you?  But the question might be, “How are you thinking of him?”  With great appreciation and gratitude that go along with fond memories?  Or with disdain and disgust for how he mistreated, maligned, and did his best to mess up your life?

Today I’m thinking of five fathers.

The first is my dad.  He was old school.  A survivor of both the depression and WWII.  He was faithful to country, family, and faith—at least for the most part.  He taught me about God not with words, but actions.  He took me into nature (which I am convinced was his sanctuary), and to church, which I believe he tolerated for the sake of the family.  He was solid, wise, and safe.  He was always there for me . . . until he wasn’t, suddenly dying at the age of 62.  Now that I’m that age I realize how young he was.  He’s always with me.

The next father I’m thinking of is my Son-in-law Derek. He’s a new father.  It’s such a joy to watch how excited he gets over the little things his one-year-old daughter does.  Whether trying to mimic his dance moves, or trying to exercise her limited vocabulary, or chasing their little dog.  It is all a delight to him.  Truly he is an icon of God our Father who delights in everything we do, and even more in who we are.

The third father I’m thinking of one who I briefly met yesterday.  His name is Charlie.  He came to look at some work that I need done on my house.  In the process he shared part of his story with me; divorced ten years ago (his wife ran off with another man), currently recovering from a long battle with pancreatic cancer, and father of five children.  When he told me about them his eyes lit up and his speech got light and airy, like cotton candy.  He told of how much they mean to him, and how the divorce brought them closer.  I could relate.

The fourth father I’m thinking of, obviously, is God.  I respect the fact that some people, especially women, aren’t comfortable thinking of an all-benevolent God as a Father, because theirs was anything but loving.  The point is not the gender of God, for in truth God is Spirit and goes far beyond any human descriptions, but the fact that God knows us intimately, better than anyone else knows us, even ourselves.  It’s why I so love Psalm 139, at least up until verse 18, because it describes the complete way that God knows us, and the compassionate and intimate manner in which God connects with us, from conception to death.  How could you not love the fact that God has known you before anyone else, and will know you after this life as we know it ends.

The fifth Father I have in mind is yours. I am wondering what kind of father you had?  Did you know your father?  And did he know you—at least as best he could?  What was your relationship with him like?  Did you feel safe with him?  How did he show love to you?  What life lessons did he teach you?  If you could sum up who he is/was in one word, what would it be?  Did he illustrate for you God, either through words or actions? 

I hope this Father’s Day is one of positive memories and experiences.  If your father is living, may you have some form of positive contact with him.  And if he is not, may you have time to contemplate how fortunate you were, hopefully, to have had him.