“Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the offspring of her womb?  Surely they may forget, but I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands, you are ever before me.”  

Isaiah 49:15-16

“That mysterious diffused light that calls us onward seems to hint there is something hidden, something healing waiting for us at the end of it all.  Beauty and wonder encourage us at every turn.  They cry out from the edges of the path, ‘Do not be afraid.”  Erik Stensland

I want to begin this blog by thanking those of you who occasionally reach out and let me know when you find something especially meaningful, impactful or touching for you personally.  It is a reminder that this is not merely a spiritually therapeutic exercise for me, but something foremost for you, to help inspire you along your Way.  

So how has your week been?  Mine has been “book-ended” with matters pertaining to “dementia.”[i]  I spent five days on a training retreat in Bloomington, IN focusing on engaging in a more meaningful way with people, especially people experiencing changes in their cognition.  Yesterday I did a funeral for a dear woman named Colette who died recently from Lewy Body Dementia.  Today a church musician is singing “Try a Little Kindness” by Glen Campbell, who died from Alzheimer’s disease.  So obviously this topic is foremost.

The journey into some form of cognitive impairment might be compared to a walk in the wilderness.  It is uncharted territory.  One doesn’t know where they are headed, or how long the journey will be.  In one sense it is incredibly frightening, to feel as though you are losing your bearings, that the way you have navigated life is no longer applicable.  And it is lonely.  Though perhaps surrounded by loved ones, it is nonetheless a journey that one takes by themselves.  And then there is the Forgetting.

Memory loss is perhaps the hallmark sign of cognitive loss, specifically the kind called Alzheimer’s.  It is assumed that one loses all memories.  The practical implication is that as one travels through their life, there are no familiar road signs or markers to help show the Way.  And that there is no one to companion us.  But that is an inaccurate assumption.

First of all, there IS no such thing as “Memory Loss.”  The truth is that a person has many types of memory.  Some experts have denoted over one hundred types of memory, the most common being intrinsic, extrinsic, sensory, semantic, episodic, echoic, and prospective, just to name a few.  You are no doubt familiar with “muscle memory.”  Applied to the mind[ii] I call this “somatic memory” which is a deeper remembering that is buried deep within a person.  It is what allows a person with advanced cognitive loss to literally come alive when music is played, or when they hear the words of a familiar bible passage, or are touched lovingly. 

But even more significant, and this is where the spiritual part of this blog comes in, though one may forget some things, God NEVER forgets us.  This is where it is helpful to imagine God as The GREAT mind, with whom we are one, body, soul and mind.  Though ignored and overlooked, perhaps this is the redeeming aspect of the journey of dementia, namely losing oneself in order to gain Something greater, Something bigger, Something eternal.  In that sense it is not a losing at all, either of one’s memory or one’s person.  It is a journey into a wilderness, true, but one in which there is a finding, a discovery, an arrival at the ultimate destination.  It is a departure from the darkness and pain of this life and into the light and beauty of The Life that is and was and ever will be.  Just as walking into nature is a mystery, so too this journey is a mystery.  Though it is perceived as a journey into the unknown, it is more likely a movement toward a Greater Knowing, an arriving, finally, into the place where one dwells with The One who has always known us. The Place where we are ever before God, and God is ever before us.

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[i] Though commonly used and accepted, I am becoming increasingly uncomfortable with this term, not only due to the negative etymology (out of the mind), but also because of how generalized and inaccurate it is.

[ii] Again, note here that the Mind is not the same as the Brain.  Though most emphasis is on physiological brain changes, there is arguably not the same changes going on in the mind. In fact, the mind very well may compensate for the losses in cognition.