“Listening to the Inner Voice of Love”
“The Voice of One calling in the wilderness.” Isaiah 40:3
“What is this whisper I hear in the stillness, this voice I hear calling out to my heart when the cares of this world drop away?”[i]
“Only by attending constantly to the inner voice can you be converted to a new life of freedom and joy.”[ii]
What was the first voice you ever heard? What did it sound like? What did it say to you?
I would suggest that it was the voice of God. It was heard in the heartbeat that pulsated with love in the sacred womb of your mother.
For a time you listened to it. And then, gradually, it got drowned out by other voices. Voices that spoke other messages that made you question God and yourself and led you on a wild goose chase to find something and Some One that you had lost. Voices that spoke words of conditional love, and even criticism. Words that cut you deep to the heart.
“My heart feels like a block of ice.” Those were the words that fell from the lips of a client I met with recently. She had come for help with her partner whose cognitive decline is rapidly advancing. But it quickly became clear that her struggles went beyond his issues, and were deep seated within her. She told of how when she was a little girl her mother, who was jealous of her relationship with her father, insisted that her father distance himself from her. They thought she was asleep. She wasn’t. And she had heard their conversation. Tears rolled gently down her cheeks as she recounted the loneliness and heartbreak that came from not being loved, either by her mother or her father. If permanently affected the rest of her life, which was defined by endless searching for love that ended in disappointment and numerous divorces. She was seeking to be loved. And though she didn’t realize it she desperately needed to hear the inner voice of love. The voice that assures her that she is a beloved child of God.
The inner voice of love is a voice that we all need to hear. It is a voice that we have forgotten. It is a voice that is occluded in the noisy world in which we live. It is a voice that is quiet, sometimes only a whisper, that doesn’t demand that we listen. It is difficult, sometimes seemingly impossible to hear this voice over the other voices clamoring and calling out, not only outside of us in our culture, but within us.
This voice of love is the first one we heard. Even before we were born and heard the voice of our mother, we heard the voice of God. It was a voice without words speaking to our “qausimodo” being, repeating and reassuring us that we are, and always would be, unique creations of God’s limitless love. A love that would never end, and neither would we.
But we forget. Perhaps that is the original sin—what might be called “The Great Forgetting.” Adam and Eve forgot that they were whole, complete, fulfilled as they were. They needed nothing more; nothing else. But that voice, that horrible, evil voice, hissed at them, tempting them to falsely believe that they were not enough—that they needed to be something more. And so it goes with us. Wash, rinse, and repeat. We are constantly assaulted—sometimes literally—by other voices. Voices that send us a message that we are NOT sufficient. We are something less than. Something unworthy. Something imperfect. Something lacking. Something sinful. Something dirty. Something unclean. And so, like Santiago in Paulo Coelho’s book “The Alchemist”, we set forth on a quest. Searching desperately to find that which is lacking. Asking directions of those who themselves are lost. Listening to the voices that tell us that what we need is only to be found “out there” somewhere. Maybe it is another person. Maybe it is a career. Maybe it is a cause. Maybe it is a degree. Maybe it is some other place. Maybe it is . . . you fill in the blank. What was or is it for you? What voice(s) have you been listening to? And what dead end have they led you to?
Dear One, I know what that feels like. I, too, listened to those voices. I, too, took that journey. A journey that led me to far-off places like Papua New Guinea. A journey that led me to climb the clerical ladder of success. A journey that served only to further inflate my ego, and deflate my spirit. I listened to many voices along the way, teaching, telling, and trying to convince me that what I really needed was more knowledge, more theology, more success, more affirmations, accolades and accomplishments, all of which were wrapped in attractive ways. When opened they were empty. For they all lacked what I most needed—love.
It wasn’t until all of “that” was taken away, or left behind, and that I stopped listening to those other voices that I was able to begin to hear the inner voice of love which Nouwen speaks of. Though it was gently whispering to me all along, I didn’t really hear it until I was alone at a convent, and distinctly heard the Invitation to Love. It was then that I began to listen . . . and follow. It led me on a path into the wilderness, on a new Way, in which the only directions I needed, and wanted, were Divine.
So, what about you? Have you heard the inner voice of love? Is your heart, like that of my client who I first spoke of, encased in a sheet of ice? Are you empty inside? Do you know something is missing? Are you tired from trying to fill that space with something, anything, that will always leave you disappointed, lacking, and looking for that which is truly and eternally satisfying and fulfilling? If so, I invite you to stop what you are doing, and simply listen. Listen to the inner voice of love. A voice of Love that is not distant, disinterested, or dependent on what you have ever been or done, but is only cares deeply about you. It is a Love that is close, yes, closer to you than you are to yourself.
That woman that I met with needed to hear, listen to, and believe the inner voice of love. I spoke these words to her, “You are the beloved—and dearly loved—by God.” I don’t know if she believed me, or if she ever will. It ultimately depends on whether she hears them speaking deep within her. It is what it depends on for us as well.
“You know that inner voice. You turn to it often. But after you have heard with clarity what you are asked to do, you start raising questions, fabricating objections, and seeking everyone else’s opinion. Thus, you become entangled in countless often contradictory thoughts, feelings, and ideas and lose touch with the God in you. And you end up dependent on all the people you have gathered around you. Only by attending constantly to the inner voice can you be converted to a new life of freedom and joy.”[iii]
“What is this whisper I hear in the stillness, this voice I hear calling out to my heart when the cares of this world drop away? I hear it call my name; I hear it call me toward goodness, wholeness, and beauty. If you create the space and listen carefully, you will hear it too, for it moves over the whole earth like a gentle breeze. I’m sure you’ve heard it speak to you before, though you may not have given it the attention it deserves. You may not believe in anything beyond the reach of what you can touch or measure, but it is hard to deny that deep internal whisper. Call it what you will, it seems to know The Way. Perhaps you should pursue it and see where it might lead.”[iv]
[i] “Whispers in the Wilderness” by Erik Stensland.
[ii] “The Inner Voice of Love” by Henri Nouwen
[iii] IBID.
[iv] Stensland, p.153.