“It is not good for people to be alone”.  Genesis 2:18

“I am with you always . . .”  Jesus

“All the lonely people, where do they all come from?”  The Beatles

Eleanor Rigby and Father McKenzie were lonely.  And alone.  So is most everyone at some time, maybe many times in our lives.  Are you? Today?

A number of people have crossed my path recently who are struggling immensely with being alone.  Their loneliness takes different forms and they each described it a bit differently.  But they are similar in that there is a deep sense of loss, in most cases grieving over a loved one.  Their lives as they had hoped for did not turn out as planned.  One described how physically painful it is.  Another how debilitating to their daily routine.  Another how deep their darkness is, even though it is light.  What does it feel like for you?

Each of them expressed sadly similar variations of the same theme, summed up as,  “I have no one . . . “.

“I have no one who understands.”

“I have no one to help me.”

“I have no one to talk to.”

“I have no one who cares.”

“I have no one to love—or who loves me.”

“I have no one to hold.”

How would you describe the loneliness that you’ve experienced in your life?

Many of the people who came to Jesus were alone.  The lepers were outcast from society, as was the woman who washed his feet that was criticized by Simon the Pharisee.  Nicodemus who was a Pharisee, came to Jesus alone at night.  I find that fascinating for a variety of reasons, one of which is the iconic place he could hold in the present day for the lives of countless lonely clergy. 

I have spent the last ten years alone, and sometimes lonely.  Deaths of both parents left me feeling like an orphan.  Divorce made me empty inside.  The departure of my children was satisfying but in a heart-breaking kind of way! But sometimes it’s not the big events that cause us to feel alone.  Sometimes it’s simply the unpredictable situation or “trigger” that we encounter during the day.  Sometimes we can be surrounded by many others and still feel very alone and lonely.

I wonder if Jesus felt lonely?  As a fully human being He must have!  It is certain that Jesus spent a lot of time during his life alone, whether that was wandering in the wilderness, praying on a mountain or in a garden, or ultimately dying.  That’s what each of us will ultimately have to do—die alone.  Kind of.  I am convinced God and the Angels will be with us.

That’s the comfort we have now.  No matter how alone and lonely we might feel—we’re not.  God REALLY is with us, in supernatural ways.  I love the story of Elijah recorded in 1 Kings 19, where he goes off and settles under a broom tree to die.  And God sends and angel to care for him. 

St. Augustine said.  “My heart will not rest until it rests in Thee.”  Our desire to “have and to hold” in a meaningful way is what we were created from and for.  Ultimately what we most desperately desire is intimate communion not merely with others, but with the “Other”.  How and where one finds that in the here and now, not merely in the hereafter is the challenge.