“We are vulnerable to absence, because we so deeply desire presence.”  John O’Donohue

“We know as long as we are alive here on earth, we are absent from the Lord.” St. Paul

Who do you miss? Who is gone from your life that you wish you had back?  If you had just one day to spend with someone who has died, who would that be?  Who do you wish could be present with you in this moment? 

The first followers of Jesus were devastated after His death, for so many reasons and on so many levels.  But one of the puncture wounds to their hearts which pierced them most deeply was that of His absence.  Those of us who have stood by a casket looking into the face of a loved one know what that feeling is like.  O’Donohue describes it so perfectly.  “Absence hides the one you love.  You desire to be with the beloved, to see her, hear her, rest in her presence.  But she is hidden from your eyes though not hidden from your heart. . . We are vulnerable to absence because we so deeply desire presence.”[1]

Whose presence do you miss?  Who do you ache to see, to feel, to embrace, to be with?

It’s ironic that we long for the presence of a lost loved one, and yet we so undervalue and underappreciate it when we have it in our daily lives?

Real Presence is a rare commodity in our culture.  So many superficial distractions, all vying for our attention and preventing us from Being—Fully—Present. 

“In postmodern culture, we tend more and more to inhabit virtual reality rather than actual reality.  More and more time is spent in the shadowlands of the computer world; this is a world which is all foreground but has no background. . . Much of modern life is lived in the territory of externality; if we succumb completely to the external, we will lose all sense of inner and personal presence.  We will become the ultimate harvester of absence, namely, ghosts in our own lives.”[2]

That’s a powerful statement—especially that last sentence which really makes us think—or should.  “Am I, through my lack of intentional presence, a ghost in my own life?” 

Real Presence.  So rare, undervalued, underappreciated.  And yet we desperately long for it.  For it is only through intentional presence that we can experience meaningful intimacy.  That is the space that is shared with a true Anam Cara.

“The deeper the intimacy and belonging, the more acute the sense of absence will be.  It seems that real intimacy brings us in from the bleakness of exile.  Intimacy is belonging.  We come in from the distance and grow warm at the hearth of the friend’s soul.  Now there are places within us that are no longer simply our own.  Rather they are inhabited with the taste and color of the friend’s presence.  When the friend departs, the inner house of belonging falls to ruins; this is why absence holds such acute presence and poignancy.”[3]

Being fully present with another in an authentically honest and vulnerable way makes us real.  And brings us to real life.  So much of life is lived on the surface, but the invitation to Real Presence is one to dive deeper not only into our own true selves, but also into the true self of Another. It is an invitation to experience the deeper presence of Christ, who is living hidden in the other.  It is, among so much else, a deeply spiritual experience.  One that can be shared briefly with everyone, but extensively with an Anam Cara.

I invite you to ponder this topic of Real Presence, especially in relation to your own life as you live it out in and with the lives of others, and God.  And I leave you with this last thought from O’Donohue.

“The experience of presence always remains fleeting and temporary. Presence becomes broken, scattered, and fragmentary.  We endeavor to be real.  Yet so much of our presence is diminished by our role and its functions.  Behind our many intricate and necessary social masks, we often secretly wonder who we are and daydream of letting everything derivative and secondhand fall away and living the life we love.”[4]

When have you felt the absence of a loved one?

How do they become “present” for you?

What presence do you long for?

How do you practice being present in your daily life?

Who is your Anam Cara, with whom are you able to spend extensive periods of time being Real and Present?

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[1] “Eternal Echoes”, p. 126.

[2] IBID, p. 128.

[3] “Eternal Echoes” by John O’Donohue.  P. 126

[4] IBID., p. 127