“The human self is a vaporous and insubstantial thing”[1]

“God created mankind in His image, in the image of God man and woman were created.” Genesis 1

Last week I wrote about being awake, and longing for the Divine.  In seeking God we are looking for the center of our Self.  That which defines us, grounds us, gives us ultimate meaning, and transcends time and life in this place. I believe everyone is on this journey, whether they recognize it or not.  It is the theme of so many books like “The Iliad and the Odyssey”, “Pilgrim’s Progress”, and “The Alchemist” to name a few. But it’s a very difficult journey, in part because of what Benner says above; the True Self is vaporous.  It can’t be seen or touched.  Like God, it is ineffable.  It can’t be described.  And that is why many get caught in the trap of defining our center primarily in relation to our body. 

Our culture provides constant examples, such as body shaming, body modifying, and body mortifying which is a common practice among extreme religionists and also among those who fall prey to anorexia.  Think of standing in line at the grocery store and beholding the faces of so-called “beautiful people” who adorn the covers of magazines.  And then pause for a moment and consider the negative effects it can have on all of us who are caught in comparing ourselves to others. 

Getting stuck in body image as the way of defining oneself is quite harmful, but also prevents one from progressing beyond the body to the places that truly can and do provide a healthy platform from which a person can discover and live more fully in The Divine Self.

Following is a brief synopsis of how Benner elucidates a body-centered self.

I Am my Body.  Here one identifies the body either as the source of pleasure or pain.  One must feel something in the body in order to feel alive, or validated.  This is the source of addictions on the one hand, and self-loathing on the other.  It is confusion of the body as a shell, or the true source of Self.

I Am my Image.  Here one defines oneself according to how they are perceived by others.  It is of primary importance to present oneself in the most positive light in order to be accepted or acceptable to others.  The dangers with this are innumerable, not the least of which is the risk it poses to genuine authenticity. Benner describes it this way, “Now the primary task of being my self fades into the background, and my preoccupation becomes being the self that I think will earn me the love, esteem, and other reinforcements that appear to lie in the hands of others.”[2] This is the orientation of many so-called celebrities, but it is also very common among people in general.

I Am my Possessions.  This one is so obvious that it doesn’t need further commentary.  You get it.  Somehow the accumulation of stuff validates me or makes me feel worthy.

I Am my Role.  When I first went to the seminary I noticed that some of my fellow students immediately donned clerical collars, even though they had four years until ordination.   I sometimes wondered if they ever took them off!  This is an example of identifying ourselves with the role we play.  It is a common trap not only for clergy, but for each of us.  Ask someone next time you meet them “Who are you?”  I bet they will answer by describing the role they play.  “I am a husband, I am a mom, I work for Google, I run my own business, I am a student” and so on.  In a culture that places such inordinate emphasis on doing, rather than being, confusing one true Self with a role presents a huge stumbling block.  And here’s the thing—it’s SO hard to break out of this mentality.  I personally experienced the difficulty when I was divorced (no longer a husband), my mom died (no longer a son), my last daughter left home (no longer a parent), and I left ministry (no longer a pastor).  It caused a great deal of internal consternation, and demanded a GREAT deal of work to get re-oriented and acquainted with my true Self. 

Please understand, our bodies are important.  We are not Gnostics who disregard the value of our bodies.  But they do not define us.  Nor do they provide the place to discover our deeper, most meaningful, and transcendent Self.

So then, dear friend, how do you view your body?

Which of the above four do you or have you struggled with the most?

How would you answer the question, “Who are you?”

What path are you on to move beyond a body-centered self-image, and into a more genuine and fulfilling place of Being?

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[1] “Spirituality and the Awakening Self”, by David Benner.  p 89.

[2] IBID, p. 94