“As the deer pants for water, so my soul longs for you, O God.  My soul thirsts for God, for the Living God.” Psalm 42

“My soul will not rest until it rests in Thee.” St. Augustine

“The longing for God is already the very presence of God.” John O’Donahue

We spend our lives wanting, desiring, longing.  The child-like satisfaction in merely being in the moment is too soon instructed out of us, resulting in the relentless search for something more.  As we reach adulthood we become dissatisfied not only with what we have or think we lack, but also with who we are.  And so set out on an existential search in the hope of discovering ourselves, taking our direction on those people that are directionless, and those things that have no soul.  We come to rely on some external tool, whether that be therapy, drug use or modern-day devices in the attempt to resolve the discomfort we have with who we are. 

This desire is evidence of a gaping hole that only God can fill.  We see something, sometimes anything or anyone, to satiate our soul and satisfy our spirit, but what we really desire is The Divine.  Unfortunately we are either incapable or unwilling to recognize Who that is, thus we continue the frantic search, the feeding frenzy if you will, feasting on the buffet of temporal delights that are transitory fail fully to satisfy.  Still, we go on longing.   And like Santiago, the protagonist in the novel “The Alchemist” by Paul Coelho, we set out on a journey to find it.  This journey may very well be external and geographical, causing us to set out on religious pilgrimages to holy places.  More common is the journey we take internally.  It is known by many names, but I prefer to call it prayer.  

Prayer is many things, but it is nothing less than the deep desire to know God, and thus know oneself.  It is an expression by the beloved of the desire to be loved by the One who IS Love.  An example is found in that first verse of Psalm 42.

If you’ve been reading these posts on a regular basis, you know how much I LOVE O’Donahue.  His style of writing speaks to my soul.  And so, here we go again with another lengthy quote of his from the book “Eternal Echoes.”

Prayer is a light that once lighted will never fail.  All prayer opens the divine Presence.  When you sit in prayer, the purest force of your own longing comes alive.  Julian of Norwich has a wonderful poetic insight into prayer as longing.  The Lord whispers to her, “Behold, I am the ground of thy Beseeching.” In other words, your longing for God is not a thrust through empty distance toward a removed God. No.  The actual longing for God is not a human invention; rather it is put there by God. The longing for God is already the very presence of God. Our longing for God brings the kiss of the divine to the human soul. Prayer is the deepest and most tender intimacy. In prayer the forgiving tenderness of God gathers around our lives. God infects us with the desire for God.”

This passage says SO much!  What is it speaking to you?  What makes the biggest impact?

For me it is the reassurance that what I have sought I already possess.  And the desire that I have for God is in fact put there by God.  In fact, one might say that the deep internal desire is the Spirit of God within me, whether I know it or not.

Many times in my life I’ve heard variations of the following:  “I just want to go home.”  People with dementia say that a LOT!  I used to think that they were old and tired of living and simply wanted to die.  Or perhaps that it was a morbid death wish, or that they had just given up.  I wonder now if perhaps this expression is really a holy desire to be fully in the Presence of God. Perhaps the taste that the person has had during their life of being with God is growing stronger and creating an even greater desire for the Divine, and to more fully experience God. It seems to be a repeated theme, be it by the psalmist, Paul, Augustine, O’Donahue, the great mystics like Julian of Norwich, or perhaps most significantly all those whose names are not remembered here, but are recorded in heaven.

So what are you longing for?  What or Whom are you seeking?  And where will this desire lead you?